Depression is like trying to tread water in a vast open ocean in pitch black darkness. You don’t know which way you need to be treading water but you’re gonna try and tread it anyway. Initially, you’re energised and think you’ll get out of the water soon. You’ll find land. You tell yourself, if you tread long enough surely you’ll make it to shore.
You start tiring so you start using your main motivations to motivate you to tread water; your family, friends, work, sport etc … you really want to tread water so you can get to the shore for them. You keep telling yourself, if you tread long enough surely you’ll make it.
Sometimes you see the shore. And you see your family and your friends. Some of them say wonderful things, some of them say the dumbest shit ever. They all come from a good place of trying to help you, but hearing ‘Harden up’ or ‘I don’t know why you just can’t get to shore’ doesn’t really help. And you keep telling yourself, if you tread long enough surely you’ll make it.
And a lot of people do make it.
But some don’t. Because the longer you keep treading water the more tired you get and while you love your family and friends very, very much you only have a finite amount of energy to keep yourself treading water and one day, despite loving everyone and everything you run out of energy and just stop treading.
If you’re struggling to tread water, then hit me up, or hit someone up and talk to them.
If you don’t have anyone to hit up then holla at these guys.
Lifeline – 0800 543 354
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757
Healthline – 0800 611 116
Samaritans – 0800 726 666
Suicide Crisis Helpline (aimed at those in distress, or those who are concerned about the wellbeing of someone else) – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
Youthline – 0800 376 633, free text 234 or email firstname.lastname@example.org